Unconditional Love: One more attempt!!!!!

It would sound rude, but I wonder if a mother would suckle her child if the child is born with devilishly sharp canine teeth. Would she unconditionally love him if he unendingly slaps her face while feeding? Anyway, this write-up is not about a mother's emotions towards her child, but about the unconditionalness of love. 

However hard I think of opposing it, I end up trusting the fact: love is, very much, conditional. We can tend to love only those with whom we are comfortable with and who would not hinder our ease of living (and loving). And also, in love, we always prefer to have control. That's why people like little kids more. It's very easy to love kids and owing to their innocence and vulnerability, are more controllable. The moment this comfort of controlling what we love is taken away, love becomes very secondary. A classic case of our experiences with irritating growing-up kids! If the social and moral ethics doesn't dictate us to be nice with such irritating kids, I doubt any of them would have any chance of growing up into adults. 

Not just kids, my 'love' experience with almost everyone, kids to oldies, has been very conditional. The moment I feel unlikely to control my love on them, it became hard for me to continue loving them. The only reasons that stopped me from deserting them were social and moral. But are those social and moral grounds enough to garner the passion required for love? A Big No, in my case. 

Every relationship, I have been through, be it affectionate or romantic, sucked the moment I lost control on my love towards him/her. Every attempt at my end to go unconditional, failed. And to top that, I tried to go unconditional in all my relationships; which discouraged me to repeat such attempts in my further relationships. Now, it's her turn. I have loved her since a very long time. We were going out together since two years. We have journeyed so far, amidst the expected and the unexpected bumpy rides. Miss Cinema, you finally suck!!!! And yet.... I Love You. 

Blunt Stubbornness: Does it make any sense.....

Imagine. You need to go ahead. It's all dark. You can feel the ground below your feet and nothing else. The only recluse you have is to hold on to a rope that has lead many men before to the very same destination that you are headed to. Now, even if you close your eyes, you can still be sure of reaching your destination by blindly following the rope. 

Imagine further. There is no rope. All you have is the rugged ground below. The first time you step into a puddle or a steep crest, skepticism begins over your very sense of direction. Brushing aside all the negativity, you still make your decision to either go ahead or change the direction. You keep going. Hopelessness shooting you at every verge of your tiredness. Suddenly you get all paranoid and begin to imagine that you have already been travelling 20 years without getting a hint of your destination. 

Then some magical force brings you back to a realization that it hasn't been 20 years yet; but something far less than that. This force tells you that your destination in The Dark Unknown may be just a step away. So keep going...... Now the million dollar question: what the fuck is this magical force? Sheer Confidence? Blind Faith? Or Blunt Stubbornness? I vote for the last one 'coz somewhere in the journey towards your destination, confidence and faith become very volatile.

Raavan: initial analysis after first viewing

Finally, seventeen years after he made Thiruda Thiruda, Mani Ratnam makes a bad film. Raavan, like TT, isn't bad in terms of technique, theme and intention; but it's absolutely bad in terms of clarity in expression and entertainment. Also, the film gets real bad in terms of meeting expectations (w.r.t. a genre named 'Mani Ratnam').

The two main aspects of the film are: Raavan falling in love with Sita and Rama banishing Sita for 'greater good' (climax). Former happens too early in the movie, when Aishwarya's character opposes Abhishek's attempt to kill her, by jumping off the cliff. The Behne De sequence is exquisitely shot, esp. the part where Aishwarya is represented like a tender leaf falling off a tree branch (or is the representation that of a tiny dew drop sliding down off a leaf?). And Abhishek's character has no character curve in the whole film thence. And that's the foremost reason for the film to look and sound boring: lack of change in the protagonist's character.

The latter aspect goes for a severe beating as the 'greater good' wasn't established; I think the writers wanted Rama's decision to be unreasonably cruel, but it fails to work. Instead it seems that they stuck to the inevitable fact of Raavan dying in the end. Bad dialogue (Vijay Krishna Acharya) and incompetent acting (Abhishek and Aishwarya) confuses the audience during the climax.

In the film school, the important aspect we were taught was: don't edit your film in the scripting stage. This film, I suspect, fails to obey that basic film school rule while writing. And to cover that up, the editing stages have damaged the elaborately and beautifully shot sequences in the film. The editing has gone for an over-kill. The slickness worked for Yuva, as the execution there was different. But in Raavan, the cuts seemed to break the beautiful flow of the greatly cinematographed sequences (Santosh Sivan).

It's a huge disappointment that such great effort shown in cinematography and action sequences (the pre-climax action scene is one of the best in Indian cinema) have been put down by the writing and direction departments, esp when these are headed by a master story-teller like Mani Ratnam.

Prasthanam: Hats Off to Mr. Deva Katta

"A Solution may not be the end of a Problem; but the sole purpose of a Problem is always Solving." I do not know if this line or it's essence is a part of any of the numerous foretold philosophies or books; but this is exactly my understanding on the narrative used by Mr. Deva Katta in his latest venture, 'Prasthanam'. By choosing the 'first-understand-the-problem' mode of narration over the 'drive-to-the-solution-quickly' mode of narration, he put himself among those film-makers who have the patience to explain to the audience, than just impress them. No gimmicks, no tactics; this film is a fine example of pure, sensible story-telling.

At a story level, 'Prasthanam' does hold the basic Good Vs Bad conflict. Yet, I am amazed at how the film does not dwell into the cliched 'good kills bad' route. Thanks to the director, it effectively shows how the Bad loses and the Good triumphs. The narrative keeps the internal as well as external conflicts alive throughout the film. And as it approaches the Final Act, the drama poses enough intensity, enabling a pronounced impact during the last reels. "He, is a man, who has ego. He, is a strong man, who can control it. " Again, I do not know if this line exists in any foretold philosophy; but as much as I could understand, that's the summary of the story.

Flawless performances by all the actors (Sai Kumar, Sarvanand, Sundeep) and their effective rendition of well-written dialogues make this film entertaining. Technically, this film can boast of one of the best sound design in the Telugu cinema. Cinematography is top-notch, while the editing is brilliant. In one scene, after the character Chinna is killed at night, there is a perfect snap-cut to a morning shot. The impact of cut was simply awesome. And this night-to-day transition is used on each antagonist's death; even the climax. All kudos to the director and editor to use nature's phenomenon in the narrative.

The last serious drama in Telugu cinema that I found as effective was Sukumar's 'Jagadam'. As an ardent film admirer, I wish this film gets a chance to be shown with English subtitles at International film festivals. I feel, this film has enough potential to create a good image about Telugu cinema in the International film circuit; which in the long run, may even open bigger markets for Telugu cinema.

Random Thoughts: Ignoring Expectations...

I remember the first time I said to anyone about my film-making aspirations, people were talking to me about my prospects of walking the Oscar carpets or comparing my dreams with those of the famous folks in cinema. And with a shameless foolishness, I was pumped up to walk the red carpets and stand with stalwarts. It was later after I came back to senses that I understood: what I need to fight against isn’t just restricted to the opposing waves of the existing ego-centric industry. Why exactly do people expect me to become famous?

Even if I told them that I want to become a scientist, they may relate my dream to that of APJ Kalaam (in his growing years)!!!! Because how many scientist names are common people exposed to? However, whatever reasons may fall behind people expecting me to be famous in the pursuit to my dreams, the question always lies with me -- the dreamer. Do I want to become famous or self-satisfying? Or are they related?

In most cases, I think they are related. We have become so much dependent on other’s feedback to our work/life-style, that satisfaction bears no value without public recognition. Is there a way to escape this? Can I fall in those few cases, where self-satisfaction and public recognition are separated? I think I need to try that out. It’s hard; but I need to mould my mind to that level. Can I? Probably, I need to fight against a lot of things within me, to ignore the expectation of becoming famous or the yearning for public acknowledgement.

Only then, I can truly justify the big decision I am taking in my life. There is no point in expecting the same things that I do, working as typical software engineer. If it is still the same shit about getting appreciation from people around or the expectation that your colleagues/relatives will feel proud of you when knowing about your success, the life I will lose in trying make that success will bear no lasting value to me. Lasting satisfaction is always personal; something which I denied myself my whole life. The mental tuning that happened for 27 years of my life should be un-tuned now. I cannot let social parameters affect the selfish satisfaction that I owe to myself.

Ye Maaya Chesave: short review

Though Gautham Menon's story and screenplay fail to impress, the music and cinematography are so refreshing in this movie that one gets nostalgic about some good old love stories. The romantic feel that oozes out of the perfect blend of music and visuals has become rare these days. Kudos to Rahman and Manoj Paramahamsa!

And though Naga Chaitanya fails to sink into the character, the new heroine Samantha is the scene-stealer. She looks good, emotes well and balances her newness to the film industry with her maturity in portraying the character. Sincerely wishing to see her be more a part of good cinema than going the glamor-only way which most talented actresses in recent times dwelled.

Good to watch with low expectations!!

MNIK: Exploration of Common-Sense

They all maintain silence grieving for those who died in the 9/11 disaster. And amidst the silence, Rizvan begins to whisper Islamic phrases to himself. And it causes commotion among the people surrounding, much to the embarrassment and apprehension of his Hindu wife.

As we were watching this scene in the film, a friend sitting next to me, suddenly whispered: “This is over-the-top, man! He (Rizvan) lacks common-sense.” Though I could not argue back at him, as I, at that point of time, could not arrange my thoughts in a proper order, I must confess now that, had my friend not made that comment, I would have never realized the core idea of this film.

Let me start with common-sense. Over the years, the parameters or the content of common-sense has changed so much that, we began to consider it as something that our little brain should apply so as to save us from social discomfort and embarrassment (the worst and bitter fears plagued across mankind) and blend us into the inconspicuous masses; even if it is at the cost of losing our own identity.

Though, I have been practicing nihilism for some years now (more for my convenience than its doctrine), I have known several people to whom religion is their identity. Wearing traditional dress, daily prayers, working ethically and living amicably are their way of life. In the film, the character of Rizvan is a religious man and chants holy phrases as his expression of grievance, or sadness, or fear. But when such an act invokes a feeling of lacking common-sense from the outsider perspective, I am amazed on realizing how far our definition of common-sense has moved from the basic importance of respecting other’s identity.

We began to hide the basic instincts of our identity in the engulfment of socially acceptable subtleness. We pride our capability to hide; and either mock at or look down upon those who can’t or do not chose to hide. And in the modern world, where being fashionable has become the norm of life, following religious practices and traditional values has become very uncharacteristic. Even if people chose to follow, most of them do so within closed walls or places where they can hide themselves among others. A very few remain unfazed and do not hide their religious and social identity.

Karan Johar’s latest film My Name is Khan keeps the modern definition of common-sense intact; and so the protagonist is characterized with autism. A normal-man characterization wouldn’t look plausible to make him be open about his religious identity, especially when the religion is Islam and the times are post-9/11. The compulsive instincts of autistic behavior are effectively utilized to make the character of Rizvan Khan be unabashed about his religious identity. And that’s the whole central idea of the film: The basic Right for any human to live his life without hiding his identity; be it religion, sex, creed, occupation, and even Common-sense.

“namaaz, jagah aur logon se nahin… neeyath se kee jaati hai.” – Rizvan Khan

My Name is Khan: Noor-e-Shahrukh Khan

It's an important soft message kind of story. And given the fact that, soft messages do not have much audience, I don't expect this film to do great at the box-office. And most of all, it's very far from being an entertainer; no songs and dances or comedy tracks. Also, it has enough flaws along the flow of the movie, thanks to the notorious Shibani Bhatija of Fanaa and Kidnap fame. After the initial hype owing to SRK's craze and controversies around the film, it may end up being just a profit-earner to the makers.

And if there anything that's worth talking about the film beyond it's good theme, it's about two people. Let me start with Deepa Bhatia. If not for her brilliant job at the editing table, the film would have moved at snail-pace, given Karan's over-indulgence in scene execution. It was her deftness that made up for the lapses in Karan's direction and Shibani's screenplay (though a few dialogues were touching); but only in the first half. But Deepa couldn't do much to save the dreadfully written second half. The only respite in the awful second half is: Shahrukh Khan.

Be it first half or second half, he doesn't discriminate. He doesn't care whether it's a bad scene or a good dialogue. He simply does what he is supposed to do: act good. And his performance works for everyone. Even if a person is hating the stupidity in a certain scene, what keeps them glued to the screen is SRK's histrionics. This would shine as his best performance probably for a few more years in future. Noor-e-Shahrukh Khan!!!!

Rann: Bhandarkar wine in Varma bottle

I sincerely apologize for my attempt to sensationalize the title of this write-up. But, more sincerely, as I was watching this film, I could not ignore thick shades of Madhur Bhandarkar's 'Corporate' and RGV's 'Sarkar Raj'. To cut the crap, the film is entertaining enough for a single watch (when aired on TV). Those interested in the crap, can read further.

Every story has a protagonist, who is posed with a challenge and ends up in a conflict; later the conflict reaches a threshold when the protagonist takes action and finds a solution. All the three elements, protagonist, conflict and the solution, decide the flavor of the story. There are audience who wouldn't mind the solution part being idealistic, because idealism carries entertainment; but there are audience, who wouldn't appreciate an ideal solution, especially when the conflict part is utmost real. And that's where RGV's Rann fails. It has a very realistic conflict; but the culmination is foolish and stupid. All the build-up he gives to the theme and story fizzle out because of the idealistic climax.

One can never stop noticing Amitabh Bachchan uttering 'mera beta' like he did in Sarkar Raj. The flow of tears from his eyes haven't stopped since that film. It's as if Abhishek Bachchan died in that film, just to be re-born as Sudheep in this film; but bloody hell, just to die here again!!! Sudheep, inspite of over-scratching his nose and forehead, impresses with his awesome screen-presence. None of the cast perform badly, but they hardly rise above the mediocre, single-expression characterizations.

The most laughable aspect of this film is the BGM. I sincerely doubt if the re-recording sessions were attended by the director. The tone is similar to that used since Sarkar, it's hard to ignore the carelessness in placing the compositions along the run of the film.

Another aspect, Cinematography, though not laughable, was mis-utilized in the film. The execution gets restless right from the beginning of the film; the camera shakes as if the audience should get drunk while watching the film. The shake would make sense had the usage been restricted to crucial situations, mostly with respect to Sudheep's struggles at various points of the story.

Anyway, just to conclude this crap, the film would seem entertaining to those people who hardly care about the crap I mentioned above. But a sensible climax would have given this film more value.

The Last Minute Struggle!!!

I am just two scenes away from completing my first Telugu feature film screenplay. Or may be three scenes away. Three key scenes that reflect the gist of my story. The fact that I know what happens in those scenes isn't being sufficient for me to draft the scenes. Something is compelling me to think more. Or is it just laziness? No, it isn't!!! I think I am unsure of the weight that the conflict in my story carries.

The conflict is similar to what I am experiencing now while trying to finish the screenplay. The last minute struggle to finish! A guy, who works in US and plans to go back to India by a certain date, struggles to face the decision he made as the date approaches. Somewhere, sacrificing the comfort zone of living in US, feels heavy. In the story, the comfort zone is personified by a girl whom the guy always loved. The girl is adamant about settling in US and not returning back to India. As the date of the his return to India approaches, the girl too falls for him, making it difficult for him to return back. Will he convince her? Or will she be convinced? Or are there other options for each of them?

Just trying to think aloud: will this conflict work as a romantic comedy?

Color Correction: My Name is Khan

/*** I felt while watching the teaser of this film, that KJo just missed a unique opportunity to make India's first commercial black-n-white film post the eastman color era. This film deals with not just one, but two aspects of binary nature: terrorism and autism. The following is just my attempt to see if the color correction to black-and-white would add more meaning to the theme. ***/

Original Teaser

Like watching an old spoilt color TV, we see jaded disturbing frames (with weird colors) of Rizvan Khan's childhood trauma. Rizvan is autistic and he doesn't know what it is about. As much as he is confused about his mental disorder, he is even more confused at the treatment he gets from others around him. He cannot understand 'normal' social behavior. His mother consoles him with an easy-to-understand explanation: people are either good or bad. And as he begins to believe that he is good and how important it is to be so, the frames turn into black-and-white.

Thus begins a black-and-white film about the story of Khan, who lives in San Francisco with his brother and sister-in-law. Khan, as a grown-up, still believes in the binary (good and bad) shades about life. The black hues dominate the frame when he is facing some daily hardship and the whites dominate when he is feeling happy. And one day...... the sun shines brighter and the screen becomes pleasantly bright and sensitively white.......

Mandira walks into his life. A single mother, Mandira, strikes good rapport with Khan. As their relationship builds gradually, we see the white hues dominate all the while in Khan's life. Slowly and subtly, colors (all the seven shades in white light) begin to flood across the screen. And Khan begins to enjoy the beauty of each color. He likes being with Mandira as much as he likes the beautiful colors flashing around him. And the most colorful day of his life is the day he marries Mandira.

As if fate couldn't choose a better time, the twin towers are attacked on 9/11 and the film gets back to black and white mode. Mandira and Khan's relationship breaks and Khan takes on a journey across the country to talk to The President, and get his beloved Mandira and the color back into his life.

/*** Does the color change work? ***/

Pray, or check the Possibilities!!!

It's been a week since the New Year (2010) began. A lot of life has passed. My first public puking experience, got sick, solved a production issue at work, hit the gym, got sick again, spoke to a lot of friends, spoke to my sis after a long time. Lots of life has gone through in one week. But insomnia all throughout the week makes me feel as if I wasted a lot of time (when I wasn't sleeping, I was actually wasting time trying to sleep). But why I am feeling so guilty about wasting time?

I think it isn't guilt; but fear. Not the fear of wasting time. But, Fear of uncertainty. The day of my decision making is getting nearer. I have waited nearly an year for this day. Planned for it. Worked hard to save my job and save some money. And now, it's like butterflies in my tummy. Continuing to save my job and save more money is seeming very easy and comfortable.

I made things hard for myself by unlearning how to pray, a few years ago. If there is anyway I could learn what I unlearned (with respect to praying), I wish I could pray to get some strength to fight this fear and go ahead with my dreams. But when I unlearned, I simultaneously learned how to see the possibilities. So let me do it now.

What am I getting afraid of? To leave a stable job? To leave the comfort zone I am standing on? Probably!!! So let them be the stable and comfortable aspects that I am planning to leave. Isn't there a possibility of setting my foot on something stable and comfortable, when I get into films? There is; but it's a very meek chance. I should be able get a chance to work as an assistant under a good film-maker. Isn't there a possibility to make whatever I put my foot on, to lead me to a stable and comfortable zone? There is. I can try to go through a film course for an year and make my mind get used to the dynamics of the film world. Stability and Comfort are all in the mind. I think a film course would be a great stress reliever and a mind-setter.

But what if I am in a grave situation where I can't do either? Even then, there is a possibility....... Pray. Should I? Or is there any other possibility? Let me think.....

3 Idiots: Follows Success, Ignores Excellence

Given it's sheer success at the box-office, different people have liked Raju Hirani's latest film on different accounts; the most obvious one being the immense entertainment quotient. I myself have been entertained every bit (including the baby delivery scene) on both occasions when I watched the movie. But after my second viewing, as an aspiring filmmaker I began to dissect the film. So let me confess that whatever is written below is just a different take that goes beyond the obvious entertainment that the film profusely provides.

The film preaches "Don't follow success; follow excellence"; but the film itself follows the success formula and ignores excellence. It shamelessly follows the Bollywood cliches (like the same education system which it complains against) and imparts bookish ideals at regular intervals to entertain those, who funnily and temporarily feel rejuvenated at realizing the ideal through the film. Like Rang de Bansathi, this film has the misleading-the-youth shade as well. Most people don't like studies, not because they are skilled at other things; but because they don't want to do anything. They just want to wander around without learning or doing anything. This film provides ample sunshine for such people to make hay.

Isn't it ironical that a lot of films that preach do not actually follow what they preach. A film that preaches peace, does it only after showcasing an entertainingly shot violent war scene. In most films, the hero winning over the wrong-doer happens only after a temptingly shot rape scene has entertained the front-bench-folks. More worse are those films that showcase sensuous bare-backed-ladies, while calling themselves conservatively traditional family dramas. What's even more crazy about these films is, they turn out to be the bigger block-busters at the ticket-window. With enough mediocrity that excites the Indian massses (including me), '3-Idiots' no doubt is an all-time block-buster.

But inspite of the film theading the success formula, there is one scene in the film which deserves to be called excellent. Rancho, having made some modifications, makes Joy Lobo's heli-camera work. He, along with Farhan and Raju, decide to surprise Joy Lobo with the working machine floating at his window. So, there is an intercut between them and the monitor which displays what the camera is capturing. The helicopter is made to fly across the hostel and everyone are excited to see the video on the monitor. Joy Lobo's room is on the 2nd floor. The helicopter is lifted to the first floor and we see a guy dancing in his breifs. Everyone, including the audience, laugh. The helicopter is lifted higher to Joy Lobo's window. The audience, like the characters in the film, are now tuned to the happy mood; just then, when the helicopter reaches Joy Lobo's window, we are cut back to the monitor to find Joy Lobo hanging from the ceiling of his room. The very next shot, we see the three heroes running as fast as they can to Joy Lobo's room. They see Joy Lobo's dead face above. But, we are only shown his hanging legs. And the focus shifts to the words on the wall: I quit. This scene, in terms of screenplay, editing, acting and background score, is the best scene to have been churned out in the recent Bollywood releases.

For me the excellent part of 3 Idiots is: Joy Lobo.

AVATAR: The Pride of Human Imagination

If there is anything that can capture human imagination to the best, it's -- cinema. If there is any cinema that clearly shows the ethereal beauty of human imagination, that's -- James Cameron's AVATAR. And if there is any line that can sum up the brilliance of this film...... then that bloody line is absolutely fake.

The story is about human greed that spreads beyond the limits of earth and tries to disrupt the placidity of a Heaven-like planet named Pandora. The story is also about human goodness that restores the flora and fauna of the deservingly beautiful world. Lastly, the story is specifically about a nice guy who feels crippled among the corrupted mankind and yearns to live among the pristine alien race.

James Cameron and Co deserve Heaven for making this movie. I don't know who can give them that. But, all I can do is..... add a few more dollars to their gross revenue, by watching this movie a few more times. Is anyone ready to join me in this divinely devilish delight?

MNIK teaser -- Pangs of Fanaticism

Sincerely, I felt it hard to appreciate the first teaser of the upcoming SRK film -- My Name is Khan. Probably because it isn't anything beyond what the director Karan Johar has been flaunting about for the past three years. There isn't anything that would excite me about the film, as the theme has been handled very recently in our own very Bollywood through films like New York and Kurbaan. Also, the film tends not to stick to the 911 incident; instead it wants to handle every major calamity that happened in the US and link it to the minority bashing. For me, that's the trace of a bad film. Had they stuck to 911 alone, it would have atleast been a sincere effort, though not a great one. And SRK, once again, seems to be a victim of insipid, one-sided, monotonous, melodramatic characterization.

Watch MNIK Teaser

The more I want to mock at SRK's arch-rival Aamir's upcoming film - 3 Idiots, the more I tend to fall in love with the teasers of that film. Aamir looks absolutely promising and there is a lot to expect from the film in terms of emotional depth. And to add, I am immensely impressed at the unique marketting strategy applied by the producers (Aamir's disguise drama).

And what on the earth has SRK been thinking when he walked out of 3 Idiots and Maniratnam's Raavan, to dedicate himself to this uninspiring theme and Karan Johar? And to add to my fury, his upcoming line up is very insipid -- A Farah Khan venture, An Anubhav Sinha sci-fi and Don2. So for another three years, the SRK fanatic in me, has to live disappointed. Such painful pangs of maintaining fanaticism!!!!

P.S. found this interesting article in a forum on religious indifference across the world: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/intolerance-is-a-twoway-street/553467/0

I wanna grow up once again....

... these are the exact words why I will watch this film, probably, a zillion times. Aamir, Raju Hirani, Maddy, Shantanu, VVC have done a great job according to the film (3 Idiots) teasers; but it's this very song (give me some sunshine) that thrills me despite how good/bad the film may turn out.

The deepest desire of a grown-up is, most of the times, to grow up once again. And as fate has it, it's among those unfulfilled desires that intensifies as the grown-up grows older. I am not sure whether it's because of not wanting to grow older or wanting to be young forever. Or it could be because of the realization that they could not accomplish a few things that need to be, during the young years.

As we grow mature, we gradually lose the luxury of doing a few things as freely and shamelessly as we could do while being immature. Somewhere down the memory lane, those free and shameless moments tickle the funny bone and if someone lacks such moments to recollect, he/she would end up sounding serious and mechanical (or so-called 'practical').

Weekend Plan: Being Funny

The funny thing about being funny is that, most times, the fun is derived by the entertained at the cost of the entertainer's embarrassment. Not many people have the courage and attitude to conceal that instinct of embarrassment, when laughed at. And out of those few, fewer folks have the humbleness not to counter the prank and stick to what they aimed to be: being funny.

Contrary to the modern generation's taste for smart humor, I somehow seem to be more inclined towards the 'being funny' kind of humor. There are technically two reasons for it... one, that I lack the intelligence for smart humor; and second, I feel the challenge of counter-prank heavier than the embarrassment of being laughed at. So I feel so much likeliness to the 'little tramp' character played by the greatest, in my dictionary of great actors: Mr Charlie Chaplin.

Never in any of the roles played by him, did I find him make fun of the audience/society which laughs at him while watching him being funny. Though this applies to most comedy actors, being fanatic is normal. And my fanaticism over Charlie Chaplin emphasizes my normalcy.

Today, out of nowhere, a few scenes from the movie 'City Lights' flashed across my mind and felt a sudden urge to watch the movie. Though it would take a couple days for Netflix to send the DVD, I decided to watch his other films online. That's the plan for this weekend: to laugh at 'being laughed' (myself).

Paa... Like Anjali

At the very outset, let me confess that the following is written not to criticize Balki's Paa, but just to compare how the structure of this story is comparable to Maniratnam's Anjali.

Like Anjali.... Paa is about an abnormal kid, Auro, who finally calls his parent affectionately before he dies. In Anjali, Anjali's last word before she dies is 'amma'. And in Paa, Auro's last word before he dies is... 'paa'.

Like Anjali.... Paa is the story of conflict between the parents of the kid, because of the kid.

Like Anjali.... Paa has children who are more mature and decent than normal kids.

Like Anjali.... Paa is a sensitive and sensible tear-jerker.

Like Anjali.... Paa has brilliant BGM by maestro Ilayaraja.

Like Anjali.... Paa has an awesome cinematography by PC Sriram.

Any more reasons required for Anjali fanatics to go, watch and love Paa? This is a highly recommended movie, folks!!!! Watch it.

Fluidity of Want.....

This week there was a go-live at work. And when things didn't go well, I had to stay awake for a couple of nights. And guess what? I wanted to sleep all the while. I prayed for the issues to get solved so that I can go to sleep. Even after I got some sleep the next day, I felt of sleeping on time later.

I began to wonder, why I was not able to sleep the previous month, when I was so conscious about getting some good sleep. And that's where the key lies..... being conscious of sleeping. The more conscious I got, the more insomniac I became. And this week, when I had work as priority on my mind, I wasn't conscious that I need to sleep; and thus, I slept. Of-course, there is the tiredness factor attached to. But I think consciousness is the main culprit.

Want.... is as fluid as water. The more we try to hold it hard, the quicker it flows out of our palms. The consciousness that it will flow out will actually make us clench our fist to hold it hard; and thereby we lose our want. So, as long as we are careful enough (make a crest so that the water stays in your hand), and keep our palm open, the water remains with us till we quench our thirst with it. Now, stop arguing about the natural process of evaporation!!!!

The Turning Point.

"What happened to your confidence, dude?" A good friend was asking me, a while ago. "Why are you sulking and self-pitying all of a sudden?" Putting a blank face before her, I wondered for a long time: Did I ever carry the self-confident look before? If yes, then why am I not even able to remember how I felt like during those days?

"What do you mean, all of a sudden!!" I chuckled. "I was like this all along!" I declared with a fake confidence. She looked at me with a concerned look. "Don't begin to get comfortable with your failures, Purnesh. You will lose yourself very soon."

Oooops. Now that's over my head. "What do you mean?"

"Your blog entries for the last couple of days are not about your failures in life."

"Then?"

"They are just a proof that you have embraced failure. You don't like to challenge your failure and step up, because you feel you are comfortable by embracing it.... by pretending to like it.... and sulking in it. It's easy and relaxing to say that you can't do something; and you have totally lost your ability to say that: you can."

Just then her extension began to ring and she took call; and I felt it's time to escape more of her lecture. I casually ambled across the aisle to my place, trying to ignore her words. But, my 'I CAN ignore her words' attitude was dominated by my 'I CAN'T ignore her words' attitude. And, as I blankly stared at my no-new-mails inbox, my screwed-up mind got disturbingly furious; and I began to think...............

As humans, we always have tendencies to put ourselves in comfort zone. It's our mind's mechanism to make peace with the world around. But, the issue is not with being in the comfort zone, but choosing the wrong zone as a comfortable one. A stable job, trust-worthy friends, a caring life-partner, a good house, a great ambition, etc are all shades of good comfort zones. The bad ones are innumerable; and failure (self-pity) is the darkest of all. Choosing failure as a comfort zone is undoubtedly the worst choice ever made by all the innocent souls, who lack friends like mine, to make them realize their folly.

/* Dedicated to all my friends who bear all my crappy-ness and hope that someday I will see the brighter side of life. Thanks, folks!!! */